We're only listing two events tonight, but they are diverse enough that you should find one of them suitable to your discerning tastes. SPIRITS OF '76 GHOST TOUR You're right: it's nowhere near Halloween yet, but, alas, there won't be such a massive population of Philly-hungry tourists by then, either. We know what you're thinking: It's a tour, you know, for tourists. But we suggest having a little fun with this one. Blend in with......

Remember that advertising campaign that used to say that Philadelphia is more fun for tourists when they stay over? Unfortunately, a couple tourists from Missouri recently found out when Philadelphia isn’t so much fun. Namely when you get plowed over by a drunken South Philly douchebag when you are just trying to cross the street to see your hometown St. Louis Cardinals play the Phillies. One of the tourists, 53-year-old Cindy Grassi, died from her......

This guy is clearly not a good Philadelphia tourist.......

Remember when we told you about Shut the Duck Up? Here's more about the founder.......

UPDATE: Digg this, please! Phillyist has always regarded the Ducks with a combination of annoyance (do they have to give everyone those damned whistles?) and fascination (it's a bus that goes in the water!), but mostly the former. But even at our most annoyed, we're not nearly as angry as Walt Sherman, creator of the new (and sometimes Proofreading Philly-worthy) Shut the Duck Up!, who writes on this new blog: I wanted to start this......