No new productions being mounted until after the new year, so it seemed appropriate to quote "Auld Lang Syne" in this week's listings title. Now, on with the listings! A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant - We hear TomKat may make an appearance with Suri. Through December 30. Tickets online. The World Goes 'Round - And round, and round, and round. Through December 30. Tickets online. Holiday Show at the Swing Club - Not......

Understandably, there are no new productions opening in the next ten days. So just sing "We Need a Little Christmas" from Mame for now, and rest assured that there are several new shows opening in January. Now, on with the listings! A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant - We hear TomKat may make an appearance with Suri. Through December 30. Tickets online. Winter Musicale - Sing along, everybody! Through December 23. Call 215.785.0100 for......

Because Brat Productions is opening a very tongue-in-cheek Scientology play this week, we thought it only fitting that we use a quote by L. Ron Hubbard to kick off this week's listings. It runs in full: “Freedom is for honest people. No man who is not himself honest can be free – he is his own trap.” Now, on with the listings! A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant - We hear TomKat may make......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: Hey, we’re bad Catholics: Casiotone For The Painfully Alone, To Bad Catholics, and Trtl Soup, courtesy of the folks at R5, at Johnny Brenda’s (1201 N. Frankford), 9 PM. $10 (21+) Foreskin’s Lament: Shalom Auslander, author of Foreskin’s Lament: A Memoir, will be reading from the book at the Free Library (1901 Vine), 7PM. Free. (P.S. Our friends in Boston can give you the skinny.) Trolleyvox: The Trolleyvox,......

A steaming hot pile of our favorite things from around the internets. The title of the seventh and final Harry Potter book has been announced, and it is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. J.K. wanted to make sure what we were in for and put "death" in the damn title! Pretty exciting and horrifying. The Movie Blog has what is apparently a real picture of Keith Richards in his outfit and makeup for Pirates......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: Halloween Extravaganza 9: Necktie, Joe Coffee, El Toro De Oro, Sugar Daddie, Dead Meat, Y-DI, Scarehoe w/ Mikey Wild, Call The Paramedics & The World Famous Crawlspace Brothers at The Khyber (56 S. 2nd Street). 7PM. $10. 21+ Halloween Show: Raining Fire, Side Show Rejects, Bury the Dead, Centemn, A day of defeat & Cold Blooded Promise 5:30 PM at The Boiler Room (2224 4th Street). $10 ($8......

What's new and/or interesting on TV this week. Monday Night Football: Giants at Cowboys (Mon; 8:30PM-11:30PM; ESPN) - This should be an interesting game, and much easier for Philly fans to watch than another agonizing Eagles game. And hey, you might get to see T.O. and the hated Cowboys get beat. (Link) Fear Files: Zombies! (Tue; 8PM-9PM; History Channel) - Oh, yeah, it's Halloween all right. This special looks at stories about zombies and voodoo......

Two local police dispatchers have allegedly crossed the Thin Blue Line by selling the names and addresses of suspected drug dealers to a would-be-robber. Only the erstwhile robber was, in fact, a government informant. More recent shootings means we might exceed last year's homicide count. Tomorrow is "The World Can't Wait" protest, when " people everywhere will walk out of school, take off work, and come to the downtowns & townsquares" to march against......

Movie Monday Night Football at The Troc: Eagles vs. Packers on the big screen, and hosted by Johnny Goodtimes. The Troc is located at 1003 Arch Street. Admission is free. Open Mic: Free at The Fire (412 W. Girard). Sign up at 8PM. (21+) King Britt CD Release Party for The Nova Dream Sequence: 8PM at The World Cafe (3025 Walnut Street). $8 Got a frugal tip? Don't be stingy! Send it here and......

Holy Collision of Local Novelty Acts, Batman: Puppet Karaoke + Dirty Diamond = well, we don't know what it equals, but having seen both shows separately, we're sure it will be wonderfully weird and frightening. 9PM at The M-Room (15 W. Girard). $5 DeSoto Jones: DeSoto Jones with Breakaway and The Frantic at The Troc's Balcony Bar (1003 Arch Street). 10PM. $8 (21+) Freshout Media presents: Cee Knowledge and the Cosmic Funk Allstars: Cee......

You've heard us mention the Philly Roller Girls before, once or twice. Well, they're having their 2006 championship game this Sunday at their regular spot: Millenium Skate World, across the bridge in Camden. Both teams - the Broad Street Butchers and the Philthy Britches - are undefeated, so it should be a good match. Get there early to see performances by Rich Hillen Jr. of The World Famous Crawlspace Brothers (who we're not sure are......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: Friday bowerbird presents: Berndt / Bailly Duo, Tweeter & The S-2-Boyz at The Cinema (3925 Walnut St.) at 8PM. $5 A Night of Funk: Fisher, The Ross Brown Project & Dr. Ketchup at The World Cafe (3025 Walnut Street) at 9PM. $8 Saturday Dirty Diamond: Naughty Neil Diamond cover act, Dirty Diamond, plays the Khyber (56 S. 2nd Street) with Nitty Gritty, Howard's Dilemma & Stucco Lobster......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: Friday Acoustic Philly: An evening of acoustic music (and puppets) from a variety of acts, courtesy of Acoustic Philly at The Rotunda (4014 Walnut Street). 7:30 PM - 1AM. $5 bowerbird presents: Normal Love, Snacks & Drums Like Machineguns, Clown Food & Mincemeat or Tenspeed at Lava (4134 Lancaster Ave) 8PM. $5 Kill Your Idols: Robert Drake is hosting a free midnight screening of the coming-soon-to-DVD post-punk......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: Friday BC Camplight: BC Camplight and Josh Olmstead play The Tin Angel (20 S. 2nd Street) at 10:30 PM. $8 Improv from the N Crowd: Local improv troupe The N Crowd play The Actors Center (257 North Third Street) at 8PM. $10 In the Grape Room: Local musician (and blogger) Your Secret Identity plays the Grape Room at Grape Street Pub (4100 Main Street, Mannayunk) with Almost......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: Free Movie in the Park: PDR Movie Night in Conshohocken-Windemere Park (3900 Conshohocken Ave) presents Lion King at 8pm. 2nd Tuesdays at The World Cafe: Local chanteuses Vanida Gail and Lili Anel perform at The World Cafe (3025 Walnut Street) at 8PM. $7 Monte Irvin: Here's a library event for you sports fan, Hall of Famer and Negro League Baseball Star, Monte Irvin, will be speaking at......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: Twelfth Night in Clark Park: Free performance of Shakespeare in Clark Park beginning at 7PM. Runs through August 6th. 43rd & Baltimore Vote for Pedro: Commerce bank presents a free screening of Napolean Dynamite, which will be preceded by a series of contests, including a dance-off. And whose life couldn't use a few more dance-offs? Contests start at 7:30, and the movie starts at dusk (9ish). The Silence:......

Although this weekend probably won't be much fun (we have to finish unpacking all those boxes), Friday is still a day of promises. Our promise? Letting you know what our brothers and sisters in -ist land are up to! Austinist: Are tripping babies as fun as stoned housepets? Must be, because otherwise, the mother of this child is just a bad parent. Sampaist: Brazil is crazy for futból. (We inferred that much from cognates and......

LAist is flashing a sad peace out to their editor Carolyn Kellogg with one hand and bumping knuckles with their new head typist L.A. blogger king Tony Pierce with the other. Where do ist editors go when they hang up the 'editorial we'? They take on MySpace, apparently. At least Ben Brown does. Austinist reminds of the just rewards of less savory careers this week and then they witness the Arctic Monkeys and We Are......

Phillyist woke up this morning and could not help smiling. The World Cup really does start this week. It seems like it was not long ago at all that Phillyist's alarm clock went off at 4:45 a.m. on June 5, 2002, and we were rousted from our too-short slumber to watch the United States play its first game of the last World Cup against Portugal. We had no idea while still bleary-eyed that just......

Mother's Day has Philadelphia origins, having been conceived by resident Anna May Jarvis, as well as recognized here first as an official holiday. We only feel the need to share these facts because this Sunday is Mother's Day (and if you're just realizing this now, Phillyist has to warn you that all the good Mother's Day cards are already taken), and we wanted to let you know there are some things happening around town to......

There are dozens of places to see live music in Philadelphia, perhaps hundreds; from cramped, smoke-filled dive bars to corporately sponsored stadiums, we've got venues of every size and type you can image. And being a music fan, we've been to all kinds. Of course, the venues we choose sometimes have more to do with the sort of music we like than the venues themselves (for example, we're well past the age when we thought......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: Monday Night Club: The Monday Night Club presents The World Famous Crawlspace Brothers, Scareho, and Another Failed Attempt at Bar Noir (112 S. 18th Street). Free at 9PM. (21+) Vinnie Spins Rock, Rock Rock N Roll: Free night of Rock and Roll on the decks every Monday a The M Room (15 W. Girard) (21+) bells bells bells: With Kilroy & The Model at Silk City (5th &......

By Jen A. Miller Aaron Karo knows his audience, and we have to hand it to him - he serves them well. The Wharton alumn, who showcased his stand-up at two sold-out shows at World Café Live on February 17, told jokes about hooking up, breaking up, drinking, drugs and warm Gatorade. And while some of the jokes were below low brow (one about eating hit the ground with a mighty thud in both shows.......

The Chinese New Year starts Sunday - and this year is the Year of the Dog. Celebrations will be taking place all over the city starting this weekend and running through mid-February, including: Friday: 5th Annual Chinese New Year Celebration at International House (3701 Chestnut Street): Food, crafts and performances begin at 6PM, followed by the Philadelphia premiere of Jia Zhangke’s The World at 8PM. Tickets are $7 for either the celebration or the film;......

It's no secret that Phillyist loves Sex Dwarf - DJs Robert Drake and Pussy Galore's monthly 80's dance party at Fluid. But tonight's event is extra special; not only can you go and get your dorky dance on (we're sorry, although 80's music is Awesome, it's impossible to look cool when you dance to it), but in celebration of Sex Dwarf's second year, dancers and wallflowers alike can enjoy $1 PBRs, a free buffet from......