Understandably, there are no new productions opening in the next ten days. So just sing "We Need a Little Christmas" from Mame for now, and rest assured that there are several new shows opening in January. Now, on with the listings! A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant - We hear TomKat may make an appearance with Suri. Through December 30. Tickets online. Winter Musicale - Sing along, everybody! Through December 23. Call 215.785.0100 for......

This week's quote comes from David Sedaris, the writer of The Santaland Diaries, opening this week. It runs in full: "Seven beers followed by two Scotches and a thimble of marijuana and it's funny how sleep comes all on its own." Now, on with the listings! The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) - Melt would flesh solid too too this that, oh! Through December 23. Tickets online. Holiday Show at the Swing Club -......

This week's quote comes from Oscar Wilde, who wrote: "A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal." Now, on with the listings! The Complete History of America (Abridged) - If you loved The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged), then you'll probably love this show, too. Otherwise, it might be best to stay away – it's the same writers and the same concept. November 2-17. Tickets online.......

Performances: Debbie Does Dallas - The Musical (To the Wall Productions) (no future performances); The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) (Marathon Theater Collective) (no future performances); The Sustainability Project (Figments, Inc.) (no future performances) So Live Arts/Fringe has now come and gone. To be honest, I was kind of relieved that this was the final weekend and that there were only three shows to be seen. Last weekend didn't go so well for me.......

Performances: Debbie Does Dallas – The Musical (To the Wall Productions) (No Future Showtimes); The Complete Works of William Shakespeare [Abridged] (Marathon Theater Collective) (No Future Showtimes); Unspoken (Michael Roberts & Underground DanceWorks) (No Future Showtimes); The Sustainability Project (Figments, Inc.) (No Future Showtimes) So I didn't catch as many shows as I saw at last year's festival (twenty-two, I think, as opposed to last year's thirty – but I think Gatz could easily count......

Performance: The Complete Works of William Shakespeare [abridged] (The Marathon Theater Collective) (Future Showtimes) This festival has been full of highly forgiving audiences, even when squeezed into a tiny theatre like the Shubin and given uncomfortable chairs reminiscent of grandma's kitchen. I guess we Philadelphians are willing to put up with some discomfort—and the occasional bad play—in our quest for good art. That's encouraging. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare [abridged] I thought this one......

This week’s quote comes from Antonin Artaud, the famous French playwright (who wrote absolutely nothing that we can think of right now). It goes, in full: “The theater, which is in no thing, but makes use of everything—gestures, sounds, words, screams, light, darkness—rediscovers itself at precisely the point where the mind requires a language to express its manifestations. To break through language in order to touch life is to create or recreate the theatre.” Now,......

This week’s quote comes from the Bard himself – it’s found in Two Gentlemen of Verona, the play we start our listings with – and it’s also used as the subtitle in an Edward Albee play. The quote is, of course, all about love, and goes something like this: Who is Silvia? what is she, That all our swains commend her? Holy, fair and wise is she; The heaven such grace did lend her, That......

As you might have guessed by now, Phillyist loves the Bard. Which is why we’re super excited for this year’s Philadelphia Shakespeare Festival. Why this particular year, you might ask? Well, this year’s line-up features a play Phillyist performed in in High School (The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abriged)), and two of Phillyist’s personal Shakespearean favorites (Much Ado About Nothing and The Tempest). The festival kicks off today and runs through mid-May. The Complete......

This week’s quote comes from The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abriged). When the company assembles onstage to make sure that they’ve sufficiently covered all of the Bard’s works, one of the actors asks about Coriolanus. Another actor replies that he doesn’t want to cover that show – he “doesn’t like the anus part.” Now, on with the listings! The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) - “Here’s the story of a brotha by......