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If you weren’t there, you missed “a critical turning point in our culture,” not to mention an early morning buzz and heartburn. The results are in from Wing Bowl 16, and two-time defending champ Joey Chestnut defeated the mighty El Wingador, who came in third. Chestnut downed 241 wings, setting a new Bowl record. El Wingador was the favorite (at least crowd favorite) to win, and the disappointment was made worse by his announcement that he is retiring from competitive eating. It is truly a dark day. Chestnut had previously said that win or lose this would be his last Wing Bowl, but apparently the thrill of victory reminded him why he got into the sport in the first place (or something), and we may be seeing him again.