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Whiz of the Web:  Thirsty Thursday

A tall, icy glass of our favorite internet junk, just for you.

  • On Sunday, a man with no heart and sticky fingers stole a wad of cash in a jar placed in a gas station by a charity aimed at helping children with terminal illnesses, and then returned later to spend some of the money. The man (if you can call him that), at about 7 a.m., entered Rimbaugh's Exxon gas station, on Route 23 near White Horse Road in Phoenixville, where he tucked a small, clear, money-filled bucket with a red lid under his jacket and left the store. A surveillance video shows the man stashing the container in a light-colored Nissan and re-entering the store, where he made several purchases.
  • The best of the internet, squirted out in flavorful neon globules, just for you.

    A steaming hot pile of our favorite things from around the internets.

    The best of the internet, chopped into tiny bits and grilled for your enjoyment.

    Once upon a time, Oliver Stone enjoyed a reputation as the most paranoid man in Hollywood, seeing conspiracy theories under every rock and questioning the official explanations. So when Stone decided, earlier this year, to tackle the subject of our current president, who is responsible for any number of actual conspiracies to take away civil liberties and then cover up his own responsibility for same, I got a little giddy. This is, after all, the president that’s held people for years without any sort of review, with secret evidence and occasionally secret legal arguments, on a prison that the American government runs but claimed not to control. I didn’t want to hear my opinions parroted back to me, but I figured that the dramatic expansion of torture and electronic surveillance might have sparked his interest.

    What's new and/or interesting in Philly theaters this weekend.

    The best of the internet, squirted out in flavorful neon globules, just for you.

    A steaming hot pile of our favorite things from around the internets.

    A steaming hot pile of our favorite things from around the internets.

    The best of the internet, squirted out in flavorful neon globules, just for you.

    The current Facebook Status of our nation’s prominent political figures:

    Many neo-conservatives both in the Bush White House and Congress have argued that in a post-9/11 world torture is a necessary and viable method of obtaining information from detained enemy combatants. Others have argued that torture discredits the U.S. abroad, breeds anti-American sentiment, places our soldiers at risk, and contradicts most of mankind’s reasonable standards as to what is and is not moral. Here’s an overview of the United States’ recent relationship with torture:

    Climate change has rapidly become part of our national discourse. As early as four or five years ago, the issue was treated by many as a paranoid conspiracy. Now, political figures from governors to presidential candidates to George W. Bush himself seem unable to avoid the fact that not only is our planet becoming warmer, but it is also losing the ability to produce key resources such as oil and clean water. Here’s a look at recent Earth-related news:

    Perhaps Senator John McCain is feeling pressure to court the remaining Christian conservative votes he has not already pulled out from under former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, who is a former evangelical pastor. Many far-right conservative voters have expressed doubts about McCain’s allegiance to their values, including notorious radio talk-show host Rush Limbaugh. This may be the reason why in the past week he has been openly embracing fiery evangelical leaders.

  • Meanwhile, the Inquirer takes a closer look at a federal lawsuit filed by the Philadelphia Housing Authority, implicating Housing and Urban Development Secretary Alphonso Jackson, a Bush cabinet member.
  • and wouldn't let me out of the house until I admitted that, yeah, the dude was kind of funny. (After her thankfully brief Dane Cook obsession, Birbiglia was practically Carlin, I promise.) By which I mean: I know Mike Birbiglia. And Mike Birbiglia? Is hilarious.

    A steaming hot pile of our favorite things from around the internets.

    Phillyist paid tribute to her this week with a heartfelt letter to her and an obituary.

    The best of the internet, squirted out in flavorful neon globules, just for you.

    What's new and/or interesting in Philly theaters this weekend.

    The shapeless dough of the internet, formed into tasty pellets and baked to perfection, just for you.

    Hey, Philly, this Sunday, September 17th, is National Constitution Day! That's because on September 17th, 1787 the Constitution was signed right here in our very own Philadelphia. The 17th is a Sunday this year, which means some folks are observing on Monday, so there are events and celebrations throughout the weekend and into next week. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the National Constitution Center has a particularly large number of events going on, and most of them are free, or free after admission to the museum.

    All our bags are packed, we're ready to go. We're not leaving on a jet plane, but by this time next week, we should be completely settled in the new Chez Phillyist. But we couldn't load the UHaul without updating you on all the good stuff our sister sites have been up to.

    • Pat Robertson calling for his death notwithstanding, Hugo Chavez is showing generosity to Philadelphians by shipping five million gallons of heating oil for distribution to area low-income families, and it will be available at a 40% discount. Mayoral hopeful and current U.S. Rep. Chaka Fattah brokered the deal. Chavez, President of Venezuela, recently called President George W. Bush a "genocidal madman".
    • In a really stupid move, Pennsylvania lawmakers are mulling over the idea of taxing gym memberships. Granted, Men's Fitness magazine says we've improved since last year - we're the 25th fattest city in America instead of the second fattest city in the U.S. - but we're fairly certain it's not the best idea ever had to penalize people for trying to be healthy. The legislation being considered would also levy a tax on advertising services, campground fees, laundry services, candy, tanning, management consulting, and concert tickets. Yeah, because the Ticketmaster fees don't already make going to a concert annoyingly expensive.
    • In sort of related news, people all over town are abuzz with the gossip that 12th Street Gym owner Robert Guzzardi is a big contributor to Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum. 12th Street Gym is smack dab in the middle of the Gayborhood and heavily utilized by the Philadelphia gay community. Santorum is not exactly a friend to the LGBT community.

    It's the first First Friday of 2006, and Healdlong Dance Theater is participating with some free performances. Among their offerings is Thrash - a performance piece that incorporates snippets of public address by George W. Bush and the affect Bushisms have on the human body. (Phillyist can relate; we're not dancers, but we've certainly experienced some visceral reactions listening to him ourselves.)

    People are already gathering at the Park Hyatt at Broad and Walnut to see President George W. Bush pimp his Strategy for Victory for Iraq. The sold out presentation to the World Affairs CouncilPresident's speech is due to start shortly before noon, will last approximately 40 minutes, and - at the insistence of the White House - will not have a 'question and answer' session following the speech.

    Having invaded Iraq two years ago, we're not sure why there's a plan for victory being presented .

    In our times of the Vice President's (now former) Chief of Staff, Scooter Libby, being indicted for obstruction of justice and perjury, (now former) House Majority Leader Tom DeLay being indicted for conspiracy and money laundering, and Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist being investigated by the FEC, and Philadelphia City Councilman Rick Mariano being indicted for several counts of corruption, it hardly seems possible that there are any decent and ethical politicians left in this country. But take heart! Philadelphia's ethical standards are now amongst the highest in the country.

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