I am no stranger to St. Patrick’s Day in Philly. I know that many take it as an excuse to get all kinds of trashed. I know that after a certain point on March 17th, green beer stops seeming like such a gross beverage option. What I didn’t know was just how painful all this foolishness is when you have yet to imbibe any of the aforementioned foul-colored beer.

Saturday evening, I had just gotten home from work and was preparing to head out, when I heard people singing the Eagles’ fight song. Drunkards wearing green means this did not surprise me. But then, someone in one of my neighboring bars got all sorts of ambitious, as I heard:

"GIVE ME AN L!"
"L!"

"GIVE ME AN E!"
"E!"

"GIVE ME A P!"
"P!"

And that would be the point at which I ran from my apartment, in horror. "Leprechaun" is a damn long word.

Image via Flickr user global-jet.