July 17, 2006
Socks: A Hole in One
We have a rant. This rant is about socks. They simply don't seem to make them like they used to. Used to be we would have socks for a year or more before they would begin to show serious wear.
So can anyone PLEASE explain to us why it is that these days, we wear socks 2 or 3 times and then the big toe splits? And it's not just the ones we pick up at the dollar store -- socks that we've gotten at Target or Daffy's or the late Strawbridges were just as bad. It's incredibly frustrating.
So talk to us-- has anyone else found this to be a problem, or does it only happen to us? Is there someone we can picket about it? We're ready to burst, as we're just fed up with the hole...err...WHOLE thing.
Image via Indymedia
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I have had no such problems. Abnormally-shaped feet, perhaps?
I've danced holes through my shoes and boots several times... I've even danced the soles of good leather shoes to pieces. And my clothes have a tendency to tear. When I'm dancing I sometimes like to spontaneously rip my undershirt in half to show my scars (I have a collection of these torn shirts), and my hurl-my-ass-down-rapidly-to-the-floor-and-leap-back-up maneuver has ripped open many asses and crotches (especially leather).
But I can only recall having a hole in my sock (where it shouldn't be, that is...) once. (Unless you count the little claw-pricks and bites my cat gives them (sometimes when they're on my feet... I love to play with her, and I'm not at all shy about a little sharp pain), which don't cause visible tears.)
Just how good are the best socks you've gotten? And what do you do in them? (I've playfully tried to hang myself with socks several times. As I first learned from Waiting for Godot it... oh, if you're curious just go do the play again yourself.)
(Incidentally: Einstein refused to wear socks. Or underwear.)
This is what happens when things are made by Chineese prison labor.
Actually, according to every piece of news and analysis I've read on this subject, Chinese laborers tend to be extraordinarily meticulous.
It stems from their cultural terror of (what is usually translated into English as) "losing face." Slip up on the assembly line and the other workers might notice and you'll feel like a failure. Fuck up a sock, and it's a catastrophe.
When it comes to this type of labor, they have a superior culture.
(Racist conservative douchebags, however, do not have a reputation for being meticulous. Or having anything other than a repugnant---if at its best laughable (and at its worst, demagogically effective (no, rather, at its worst, militarily effective---you may not want to admit it, but in your heart of hearts Hitler is your hero))---culture. That said, I think Dan Savage is hilariously idiotic. Heights for some Santorum-stuffed assholes to aspire to.)
Cut your toenails shorter. Your big toe's nail is rubbing against the fabric (i.e., friction) which eventually causes a hole to form.
I don't know about the socks, but that sign is taken from a Father Ted epsiode.
Greatest. Show. Ever.
First off, to Mike and Barry, I'll have you know that my feet are absolutely BABIED. They're far from abnormal and I almost compulsively keep my nails short as possible. Hmph.
And cugat, you are my new best friend for picking up the reference. Well done!!