June 6, 2006
Foodsday Tuesday: What Happens After You Eat
Phillyist loves food. Not just because it's what keeps us alive, but also because we really enjoy eating. That's why this weekly column exists. It's a celebration of food (and sometimes, drink). Of course, we all took high school biology. We know how digestion works. We know what happens after we eat. It isn't pretty, but it's a fact of life. We all have to do it. We all have to poop. (Feel free to scroll to the next article if discussion of the scatalogical disturbs you.)
Now, we were going to use this week's columns to talk about the relationship between greasy foods and hangovers, when we discovered PoopReport.com. It didn't say anything about greasy food acting as a hangover preventative, but it did answer a question that we've heard asked on several occasions, most recently by a friend from high school who shyly asked: "When you drink tequila, do you kinda...?"
The site was just too good not to share. We decided to look for Poop Reports on food and drink, because even though we know those things eventually end up as poop, we were curious about the process and/or results. That's how we learned that you can dye your poop green, that Korean food (which we love) doesn't agree with everybody, why food poisoning can result in bloody stool, that even Hitler shat (scroll down to the comments for that one), dog feces are dangerous to humans (and some people aren't fit to be parents), and there's even a poll for readers on what food or drink is the most poop-inducing.
For more information about how your body excretes what you consume, you should really check out PoopReport.com. You'd be surprised -- there's a chance it might prove helpful!
Image comes to us via this story on our sister site, Shanghaiist.
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That site is truly hilarious. Thanks for posting this.
BTW -- publishing this in the food section is a truly perverse joke indeed.
That's me. Totally perverse. Glad you enjoyed.
Totally perverse? Jill, when we were discussing food, didn't I shock you and disgust you something like twenty times within ten minutes?.... (Which raises the question: can vomit be a decent lubricant? I doubt it. Though it may depend on the vomit: if what you're vomitting happens to the lube you've inadvertently gulped down because of your messy eating habits....)
Or perhaps you were just being polite.
(I don't think I even told you about the still-pulsating cobra heart (the cobra is taken out of his container, sprawled out and pinned down with sdicks, then has his heart cut out in front of you, and you swallow it whole, feel it going down your throat still throbbing with energy as it goes down slick with the blood of a venomous snake (yet it's perfectly safe---all the venom's in the glands in the mouth, which wet the fangs and the lethal projectile spittle (I wonder if it's hot? they're cold-blooded, but don't poisons usually burn? or do they---well, especially if they hit you in the eye...)---traditional etiquette dictates that you swallow it whole, but you can tongue it a little, move it around in your mouth, to get the taste of it---some people may have nibble a bit, chew through the violently contracting muscles and the blood---whichever way it gets done, it must be an amazing feeling. I've seen it happen, but only on television. (I used to be afraid of cobras---ever since I was two and I saw a snake in my parents' backyard and I could have sworn it had a hood and it was flicking its tongue out and wiggling in my direction and I dropped a large brick on its head and ran screaming across the wet long grass back into the house where my father laughed at me and complimented me on being a killer. Then (atheist gambler he is) he drank another beer for St. Patty.)