Hallelujah. Holla back, hipsters. It's the triumphant return of the Craigslist round-up.

On a weekly basis, we will be brining you the Craigslist craziness like hot butter on your breakfast toast (or margarine, for the lactose intolerant). Like you, our amazement never ceases when we're scouring CL in an (ongoing) effort to delay the inevitable work that rests in front of us.

So, pull down your plastic-framed spectacles, kick up your Chuck Taylor-clad toes, and raise your triple-grande-soy-americano and take a little trip with us...

"quieres aprender espanol"
We imagine that this one got many replies.

Ok, smart guy, if someone needs to learn Spanish, what makes you think they’re going to understand your post that is written IN SPANISH? We all know that Rosetta Stone is the way to go now-a-days, anyway. What’s more, nothing is even requested in return outside of the ever-shady, “What can you teach me? What services do you have to offer?” It looks like there’s just another starving bilingual roaming our streets. Beware.

"WANTED LARGE DOLLHOUSE FOR ADULT"
We know the housing market is a little rough now-a-days, but really? We mean, really? Our only question is how is this humanoid going to enter and/or exit this dollhouse? No front opening? I guess some of us just like the back door better. To each his/her own, we say.

"NEW! Pet Detective PI offers personal support ONLINE"
Ace Ventura, eat your heart out. Not only do these folks find your ‘four pawed family member’, but they also offer personal support for the deep depression that follows losing a pet. They offer state-of-the-art technology to provide guided search efforts. Apparently, they can get inside the brain of your pet and actually map out where it may or may not be. Groundbreaking stuff, really.

And finally, a real gem...This one is long, but worth printing out for, well, whatever reason you might print out an article at work and take it with you somewhere...

"Do You Require SURGERY ??? Check Out The BOWEN_TECHNIQUE First"
We don’t even know where to begin with this one, but let’s give it a shot. Within, you’ll find “Conditions That Can Be Helped with Bowen, but not limited to: … Anal disorders (itching, burning, discomfort or pain)… Breast lumps … Crohn's Disease … Gall Bladder pain … Immune deficiency problems … Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) … Pre-Menstrual Syndrome … Testicular pain … Work-related injuries.”

Those are just a few. This Bowen dude is for real.

A lump in your breast? Mammograms are a thing of the past. Just think of your body as a guitar. If you strum a G-string when you’re looking for the E, your anus is going to feel a little flossed.

Mr. Bowen is here to make sure that never happens to you again. And, frankly, so are we.

As always, these are YOUR friends.

Image Credit: http://www.criticalgamers.com/archives/pictures/Roundup2.jpg